What a coincidence, I just finished reading Body Work about an hour before reading your newsletter!I came across it at an opportune time since I’d been dealing with some trepidation around writing about trauma in my memoir book project, for fear that it could be construed as trauma porn. I wrote a bit about that, as well as my reluctance to refer to myself as an artist in my latest newsletter: https://www.lyle.blog/p/is-this-a-piece-of-art. Febos’ book has been a huge help for me and I snapped many pics of passages that struck a chord with me.
No, it’s never stopped me! What are my friends and associates but grist for the mill? Sometimes, I do try to spare some the embarrassment of their exploits - I’m making fast cash off of - by changing their names. Take my latest heroine, Wurley Hinkler: writer and academic by day, righter of wrongs by night as she fights against the patriarchy which seeks crush the dreams of women everywhere! I sent the first couple of chapters to my publisher - after getting permission to use the real world individual’s likeness by trading her husband a set of bass strings! Now, we’ve completely dropped the book idea and gone straight to Netflix: The future of storytelling! Yes, it’s possible some aspects of Wurley’s years in Middle School might come across as embarrassing, but they’ll only help support her true acts of somewhat clumsy heroism which occur as the story progresses! (Sadly, Millie Bobby Brown turned down the lead role! Something about, “I’m never letting anyone near me again with a curling iron again!”) Well, it will work out. There’s always out of work Disney actresses available! To reiterate my point, as writers how many friends do we really have? What use are they if not grist for our creative mills? Let’s face it, they don’t understand us anyway! Revenge is a dish best served in print!
I have such mixed feelings about this notion of "veto power" for my writing. I don't know if it's just the framework (and the political trappings it wears like sackcloth and ashes), but I'm resistant to this notion of content review for creative work. This may be different for poets (and I think Richard Hugo's classic essay The Triggering Town may be instructive here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/69402/the-triggering-town) than it is for other writers. For instance, I'm trying to imagine what would've become of Carolyn Forche's poem "The Colonel" (or of Carolyn Forche herself) if she'd asked the titular Colonel to read it and offer edits. (For the unfamiliar: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49862/the-colonel)
Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think that the writers who are worried about reaction really aren't at a point where they're ready to do that writing. I know this is contrary advice to a lot of the production-oriented stuff we hear as writers, but I think it's better to sit with the discomfort, the relationship, the triggering event, until you can get it right. No one else can tell you when that will be.
What a coincidence, I just finished reading Body Work about an hour before reading your newsletter!I came across it at an opportune time since I’d been dealing with some trepidation around writing about trauma in my memoir book project, for fear that it could be construed as trauma porn. I wrote a bit about that, as well as my reluctance to refer to myself as an artist in my latest newsletter: https://www.lyle.blog/p/is-this-a-piece-of-art. Febos’ book has been a huge help for me and I snapped many pics of passages that struck a chord with me.
No, it’s never stopped me! What are my friends and associates but grist for the mill? Sometimes, I do try to spare some the embarrassment of their exploits - I’m making fast cash off of - by changing their names. Take my latest heroine, Wurley Hinkler: writer and academic by day, righter of wrongs by night as she fights against the patriarchy which seeks crush the dreams of women everywhere! I sent the first couple of chapters to my publisher - after getting permission to use the real world individual’s likeness by trading her husband a set of bass strings! Now, we’ve completely dropped the book idea and gone straight to Netflix: The future of storytelling! Yes, it’s possible some aspects of Wurley’s years in Middle School might come across as embarrassing, but they’ll only help support her true acts of somewhat clumsy heroism which occur as the story progresses! (Sadly, Millie Bobby Brown turned down the lead role! Something about, “I’m never letting anyone near me again with a curling iron again!”) Well, it will work out. There’s always out of work Disney actresses available! To reiterate my point, as writers how many friends do we really have? What use are they if not grist for our creative mills? Let’s face it, they don’t understand us anyway! Revenge is a dish best served in print!
I have such mixed feelings about this notion of "veto power" for my writing. I don't know if it's just the framework (and the political trappings it wears like sackcloth and ashes), but I'm resistant to this notion of content review for creative work. This may be different for poets (and I think Richard Hugo's classic essay The Triggering Town may be instructive here: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/articles/69402/the-triggering-town) than it is for other writers. For instance, I'm trying to imagine what would've become of Carolyn Forche's poem "The Colonel" (or of Carolyn Forche herself) if she'd asked the titular Colonel to read it and offer edits. (For the unfamiliar: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/49862/the-colonel)
Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I think that the writers who are worried about reaction really aren't at a point where they're ready to do that writing. I know this is contrary advice to a lot of the production-oriented stuff we hear as writers, but I think it's better to sit with the discomfort, the relationship, the triggering event, until you can get it right. No one else can tell you when that will be.